i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Randomize
