i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
