You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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