windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
