oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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