You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
