If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
