Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
