When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
