Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
