I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
