Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
