i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
