She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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