Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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