she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
