It's Friday. Sex?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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