rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
