Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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