she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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