its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
