Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
