It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize