How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
