yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
