I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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