I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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