Whoa Z and x make the same sound
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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