what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
