Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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