my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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