theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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