OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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