it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
