sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
