Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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