Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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