Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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