This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
