physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Holy sore nipples Batman
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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