I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Is it penis luge time yet?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
