She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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