Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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