man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
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