Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
