I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
