I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
