turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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