Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
