I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
