I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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