There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I need to wash the frat house off of me
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
