Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
