I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
