So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
