he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
