she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
