Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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