so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Randomize
